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You may not feel like going to a movie, but it is what he wants to do, for example.Also, his turning down an offer to do what you would like is a key sign that he is not flexible.However, when you are in a relationship, those feelings should subside.For some, the fears go away without a second thought. That is the main reason a boyfriend can become a controlling nightmare.My client took this as a sign that he had terrible financial judgment.I took it as a sign that he was generous and trusting.
Once upon a time, I had a client break up with her boyfriend because, among other things, he lent ,000 to a girlfriend who never paid him back.I get it: it’s certainly inconvenient – for both you and him – to have her in his space, but, if your relationship is strong, this arrangement won’t last forever.So, Amy, would you rather give him an ultimatum to kick her out in the next 30 days, or continue to enjoy this relationship for the next four months, with him sleeping at your place? And who knows, maybe you’ll one day be the beneficiary of this gentleman’s extraordinary patience and generosity.When I asked him when is she moving out, he just said, “maybe the end of the year”, which is still 4 months away.He said that he feels bad for her because he knows what it’s like to be on your own and how scary that is.
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It is hard to pinpoint the answer to why this behavior exists, but, if you feel as if you are being controlled, being able to identify the behavior is your first step to freedom.